It's that time of year again ladies! NFL Football is back baby! It's time to dust off those jerseys and matching shoes and read up on your teams current players and depth-charts! This truly is the best time of year! The excitement of all the preseason games and preparing for the official season to start. Now is also a good time to polish up your trash talking skills!
Trash talking for ladies is like walking a very fine rope. You don't want to come off as too aggressive yet you do want to sound like you know what you're talking about. I mean trash talking and Football go hand in hand so you know what they say "Practice makes perfect." In this post I will just be giving a little advice on how to be the BEST lady trash talker watching the game! I'll also be sharing some tips that I myself use. I wasn't always the best trash talker but through trial and error I've learned some things and I hope you will as well. So, let's get to it!
Dropping F bombs!This is a very important tip because you don't want to sound like a sailor, or worse, when you're watching the game, for many reasons. Examples: There may be children present depending on your location. This will not go over well with any parents that are in earshot of you. Reason # 2- Anyone can start yelling obscenities at a football game so that's not really trash talking. To be a successful trash talking lady you have to know what you're talking trash about and be able to describe it in a way with minimal vulgarity. Don't get me wrong, there may be an occasion or so when the F bomb is just going to come out. No worries, It happens to the best of us!One of my opinions on this is that if you're in the comforts of your own home with only adults let the f-bombs fly! If you're in a public setting or at the actual game it's best to use less colorful words.Here is an Occasion when I let out one of biggest F-Bombs of all time:Santonio Holmes Steelers vs Arizona Cardinals Super Bowl Game Winning TD
Photo and Thanks http://www.getrealfootball.com/ravens-steelers-preview-pain/
This will forever be a DARK day in Football!
Social Media
Let's be honest watching football and live tweeting is probably one of the greatest luxuries we have! However, there are certain things to practice when using social media during the game. Facebook statuses are NOT meant for play by play game updates! (That's what Twitter was designed for) There's really nothing worse than logging into Facebook and seeing a new status update from the same person every other minute or two. Literally, every two minutes. Twitter is perfect for this because it only allows 140 characters and is much more fast paced. There are no "adding comments" to tweets or "liking" them. Ok sorry I just had to throw that out there.
Now if you're on Twitter and you're ready to start your trash talking you don't want to retweet everything that's coming across your timeline. Chances are you tweet within the same circle of people that are cheering on the same team and therefore are watching the exact same game as you, let's call them your "football homies." Now this is both good and bad. It's good because it's kind of like you're watching the game live with a group of friends but at the same time it's bad because you don't want to say the same thing as everyone else.
A general rule that I follow is I utilize retweets for things that I either agree with, find hilarious or want everyone else to see because of its originality. It's also important to remember that when you are tweeting to throw in little catch phrases or original ideas that instinctively come to you. Listen to that little lady inside of you that remembers past games and seasons, certain players/coaches and memorable team antics. These make for Great Trash Talking Tweets! Yummy!
Image with Thanks https://www.flickr.com/photos/mkhmarketing/8539048913/
Go For What You Know
So now you're watching your favorite teams game, things may have started out great but now it's the fourth quarter with 6 minutes left and your offense is falling apart. You need 3 points just to tie the game up. To make things worse you're out of timeouts and your running back looks like he's jogging in place every time he's handed the ball. Did I mention it's 3rd and 22?
If you have no clue as to what any of the above scenario means then you should probably NOT be doing any kind trash talking other than "Boooo." If you still want in on the trash talking action a good idea is to pay attention to the crowd. Oftentimes it's easy to tell what is going on if you can hear the stadium noise. (This also helps if you are running around the house cooking and such during the game.) You will also want to listen for the whistles from the refs. This will indicate a coming penalty. Even if you saw something completely different, the NFL refs have been known to call something ridiculous that could hurt your team.
You may be your teams biggest fan but don't be afraid to criticize them as well. Trash talking isn't just for the opposing team anymore. WARNING: Be very careful of Trash talking your own team. It must be done constructively, graciously and gently. Especially if you are online, your "football homies" may not take too kindly to it. Trust me, Twitter is FULL of at-home football analysts and they are sometimes vicious.
In The End
If you are just starting your trash talking this year or if you are one bad mamma jamma, I hope some of this helps. I may do another post soon that will go into further detail but for now at least this is a general outline to get you started on your way! Follow me on Twitter @AZLadyBirds and feel free to send me some of your best trash talking tweets!
